One pair of pants, four work blouses that are too worn to continue to wear at the office, and three pairs of shoes. I'm a recovering shoe addict, apparently. The black boots and the heels I bought because I was trying to be fashionable like Kate Middleton. I spent $130 for those two pairs together and all I got was blisters. Three shoes down and plenty left. Guess I'll have to count them at some point. After I find all of them.
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| Black boots plus nude heels: $130. Finding out that I wasn't a princess: priceless. |
- An old keyboard that doesn't work with our laptops (free)
- Cafeteria trays that I mentioned in a previous post
- A creme brulee set my mother got me (free)
- Gloves that don't fit ($25 wasted)
- Harry potter music for the cello (free from Mom)
- A pile of old books (worth the money)
- A grocery cart-like fruit basket (free from Mom)
- Brown betty teapot, used twice ($25 wasted)
- Pill case when I lost my first one and found it again ($3 wasted)
- Small hydrapak, for storing water while on long bike rides ($50 wasted, I picked a style I hate)
- Keen sandals ($70 wasted because they were the wrong size and I didn't return them)
- Curling iron ($35 wasted)
- Day planner ($16 wasted)
- Barette ($5 wasted)
22 items gone, $359 down the drain. Sigh.
What have you decluttered lately?
"Black boots plus nude heels: $130. Finding out that I wasn't a princess: priceless." Good thing I wasn't drinking anything when I read that line or it would have been spit all over my computer screen because it made me laugh so hard!
ReplyDeleteBut... I do have one comment here, mostly because I see myself reflected in your writing. Do you think it's helpful to to say things like how you've "wasted" so much money and bought "stupid" stuff that's now money "down the drain"? You know, the whole beating yourself up thing. I'm NOT criticizing, because I do the same thing myself... as in ALL.THE. TIME. But, lately I'm starting to wonder if my habit of hitting myself over the head for all of my perceived failings isn't part of what keeps me stuck. CatMan certainly thinks so. We actually had a fight last week because I was, once again, reacting to my own inner "I'm no good" voice, instead of the situation at hand... which resulted in me making him feel bad in ways I totally didn't mean to do.
I struggle with the idea that it's a good idea to be kinder to myself though, because on the one hand I'm sorta afraid that if I "let myself off the hook" it will be like giving myself permission to keep doing the same old behaviors that I want to change. On the other hand, I can see his point that having someone constantly putting me down (even if that someone is me) is just part of my trip... like something I do because on some level it's easier to focus on what an idiot I am, than it is to deal with whatever it is that I'm currently avoiding.
I just wondered if any of this rings true for you. Do you think CatMan has a point? I'd love to get your thoughts on this topic.
xoxoxo,
Cat
I think some of the "wasted" and "stupid" comments are definitely examples of getting myself down, I'm just so used to getting down on myself that I can't even see it! CatMan is definitely right. I'm spending so much time beating myself up that I can't always see the progress that I made. So thank you for pointing that out. I definitely feel like going easy on myself when it comes to the stuff is just letting my parents' behaviors show up in my life. I need to focus on how far I've come. Fairy is also right -- the only time I should be hard on myself when it comes to clutter is when the clutter is trying to enter into my life, not when it's on the way out the door.
DeleteThank you so much for your comment! It really helped me think about what I'm saying to myself.
Zoe
ReplyDeleteCat makes a very good point.
When I read this post, I had decided that I needed to point out that I did not think that regarding your decluttering journey in terms of wasted money and stupid choices was helpful and then I scrolled down and read Cat's comment. :)
Sometimes I think about the money I have spent but mostly I choose to put the decisions behind me a move forward with a feeling of lightness and freedom that the decluttering provides. Revel in the lightness and use that to remind yourself of the benefits of living with less when you next consider acquiring more 'stuff'.
Also, look at the list - there is very little that has been wasted in real terms.
The blouses are too worn to continue to wear to the office. You have clearly worn them more than a few times, therefore they have served their purpose and it is time to move them out. That's OK.
Several things were free - just remember to say no to offers that you don't really want or need. If it is easier you can just accept the stuff and then be the 'middle man' and deposit them in the nearest charity bin instead of taking them home.
Where you have items that are the wrong size - remember to be more discerning when choosing things that need to fit.
Finally, the shoes - we all fall into the trap of our fantasy selves but as long as you recognise the trap and don't do it again all will be well.
Best wishes in your continuing decluttering and remember to be kind to yourself. :)
Take care.
Fairy xx
You know, I honestly didn't even realize I was beating myself up until you both mentioned it. I guess that's how ingrained my negative thinking has become! I appreciate the examples you gave of how to look at my discarded items in a more positive light. Thank you so much for your encouragement!
DeleteSerious therapy sesh in the comments, but it's amazing! I too do the same self-hate/put down talk all.the.time. You are making such amazing progress that I agree with the rest about spinning it to the positive v. focusing on wasting money. But I get it, I so, so get it. When I declutter something I spent significant money on, I often focus on the wastefulness of it all. I think sometimes I do that so it cements in my brain, and I can make smarter choices next time I shop. I also think it's a drive towards perfectionism. "Look how absolutely imperfect that was. Next time, I will try to make the perfect choices." See, that is so not helpful. For me, I need to realize that I'm going to make some wrong turns...AND it's ok. I haven't gotten that last part down at all. So much love to you. You truly HAVE changed your life in such amazingly positive ways :)
ReplyDeletewhen I read this it completely made my day! I've been so hard on myself lately and I haven't even seen it. It sounds like you've really done a lot of hard work looking at yourself and learning to make better -- not perfect -- choices. Thanks for the love!
Delete