Sunday, March 23, 2014

One thing they don't tell you in those self-help finance books

I've read a lot of self-help books about money management. I don't go into credit card debt, but I do have a nasty habit of spending any money that's not locked up in retirement.

Some of this is a result of a symptom of my bipolar II disorder. When I'm having a hypomanic episode, I shop. It helps the high I'm on during hypomania go even higher. That's usually when I'll blow any spare money I've had in my allowance. As soon as a reasonable expense came along, usually days later, I wouldn't have any money left. I'd go begging to the Chief Engineer and then I'd often spend some of "our" money on something I needed.

This seemed to stop when I went on my bipolar meds. For the first time ever, I'm almost at the end of the month and I have money left in my weekly allowance budget. I haven't gone on any shopping sprees this month.

But I'm far from cured of my poor spending habits. We spent an incredible amount of money redoing our kitchen and now need to be super duper extra careful with our moneys for a few months. But now I'm very restless. I want to go out and window shop. I want to think about what my purchases of fun stuff like hair coloring or a new shirt will be. But that needs to be put off for a while.

Now what? I used to always be planning some kind of big purchase, or setting a big goal for myself (I'd look great in a Tesla roadster....or not).  I'm not going to go window shopping or kill time on Amazon.com.

So I'm feeling a little bored. That's what I wish I had been warned about when I read all of those personal finance books. You need to come up with activities to fill the time that you used to spend shopping or browsing. My eating disorder tells me that when I'm bored is a great time to eat. So I need a little help, need some ideas.

What do you do to keep busy instead of shopping, oogling, or planning to buy stuff?


8 comments:

  1. So this is why I started my business. Here are some suggestions: volunteer, join an online survey thing that gives you rebates/giftcards/whatever (I love Recyclebank), find free stuff to do in your area, explore new areas, offer to walk a friend's/neighbor's dog, clean (like the weird things such as baseboards, fans, blinds, etc.), teach your gerbils tricks/create cool mazes for them, call a friend, read anything, and yoga. Boredom and I are not good together. It usually means I spend far too much time online or watching Netflix/HuluPlus/HBOGo. I hope you find a good replacement that let's you feel fulfilled in the way shopping did!

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    1. That's an awesome list. I've definitely been following your advice to Netflix more. I think I can hit the gym more as well. Thanks for all the ideas!

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  2. First of all, congratulations on curbing your shopping habit! I have to admit that being bored is not something I have a lot of experience with. I generally have about 70 zillion different irons in the fire at any given time, so my problem is usually that I never feel like there are enough hours in the day. But let's see... you could learn a new song on your guitar. You could find a local open stage, work up a few songs and go perform them - or if that's too intimidating you could find a jam session or song circle to join. You could start a craft project - now THERE'S a time suck! I advise one that's not gonna involve any shopping, like making something upcycled or something like that. You could read a book, or write a book, or join a book club, or watch soap operas in Spanish (that way it's "educational") or cruise the blogosphere, and there's always the old standby: Netflix!

    I don't know... I guess in general my advice would be... you know all those things you've "always wanted to do"... Why not start working on some of them? Er... make that... why not look at that list and find one or two that won't require any shopping or spending and devote some of your new found free time to them!

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    1. Unfortunately I've been giving up craft projects lately as I realize that I don't like crafting. On the other hand, I seem to have a bunch of home improvement tasks that need to be tackled! Next up: pictures of me covered in more green paint! And a list of things I've always wanted to do is an excellent idea.

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  3. I was going to suggest something similar to Cat- focus on other projects/hobbies you have going on, and/or do something from your 'always wanted to do' list.

    I've realised, since I started tracking my spending this year, how much I fritter away on things I sort of need but can do without. I realise that I am looking for things to buy, still. I buy much less than I used to, as I am more concious of both clutter and the environmental cost, but I realised that I'd reduced the opportunities to buy shiny new things by having harsher criteria, rather than removing the desire to buy. I'm not sure how to get rid of the desire to have new things- maybe by following my own advice to you above and focus on other things...but maybe also I need to be content with what I have.

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    1. You have an excellent point. Staying away from shops in the first place will be key to making this new anti-shopping kick of mine turn into a long-term habit. And focusing on gratitude will be a must. Thanks for the encouragement and I'm happy that you've been able to make these positive changes. Thanks for the inspiration!

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  4. Ah, yes, the eating disordered bored=eat thing. I do this way too much lately.

    I'm a procrastinator, big time. I usually find that I have tons of stuff that I could be doing, but don't want to. Like cleaning, or filing at work. I make a list of all those things, then force myself to get started. And, oddly enough, when I do them, I usually feel happier.

    But then, when I'm procrastinating, I read personal finance blogs. Or, if I'm really desperate for something to do, I start calculating out goals. How long it will take to pay off this. Now, change X, and recalculate. And once that's done, figure the next goal. How much money the BF and I can save once we sell our houses and live together. How long it will take to save for our dream home. How more retirement savings will grow at X%. I might be a little obsessive...

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    1. That sounds very familiar! I love doing crazy calculations like that too.

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