Because I swear, the whole week of attempting to use or get rid of items has gone like this:
~The tale of the teapot~
Me: You, teapot on my desk that mom bought me when we went to the Corning glass factory when I was 13 -- you have been sitting on my desk at work for a year and have been used once. You're too big, you cool down to quickly for me and I own another teapot already. You're going to the thrift shop. I'm going to put you back in the box you came in because I have been crazy enough to still have a box that's almost 17 years old, and I'm going to put you nicely in this tote bag I brought with me just for you, and now we're going to walk the three blocks home slowly so you don't break. Then I'll take you to the thrift shop.
[walks home slowly, opens door carefully so as not to smash teapot]
Gods of the Tile Floor: We demand a sacrifice.
Me: Nice try. I made it all the way home and didn't drop this teapot, so someone else can use it when it goes to the thrift shop.
Gods of the Tile Floor: We demand a sacrifice.
Me: Oh really? See, I'm just going to set this down here and it's safe now -- [puts the teapot down on the tile entryway floor]
****crunch.*****
Gods of the tile floor: Mwahahaha!
I have no idea how, but I managed to break the top part of the teapot when I deposited it on the tile floor. I swear, I just sat it down! And yet it broke. Oh well, I'm not sure why my mom thought my 13-year-old self needed a teapot anyways other than to fulfill her need to acquire and to "take care" of me. And one that still had a pricetag of $12.99 (from the mid-90s) on it no less.
But apparently the sacrifice of the teapot to the Gods of the Tile Floor wasn't enough, because a little later on I managed to drop this butter dish and smashed the base of it.
I bought that ugly but distinctive butter dish for $12 or so on ebay a few years back just because Gram had one just like it. (I can't believe I spent $12 on a butter dish to make myself feel better after she died. Ugh.) I wanted to look in the fridge and see something familiar. This is the first thing we've broken on our kitchen's tile floor, and I should've expected that. Back to the plastic tupperware for the butter we go. I don't need to buy another $12 butter dish to remind me of her.
But that wasn't the only item that we've managed to accidentally trash this week. Again, on the way out to the thrift shop we were busily putting this lamp in the car, when...surprise! We heard a lovely ripping sound as the shade caught on the trunk of the car. This was an idea lamp with a custom shade and no replacement is available. Our thrift shop won't take lamps without shades. So Argh, it ended up in the trash. I feel awful.
So unfortunately this week's decluttering has been a result of butterfingers and fictional dieties. I'm not happy but at least the items are gone.
Have any of you ever gone to great lengths to get something ready to give away and then managed to break it at the last minute?
The Reckoning
Items 176, 177, 178:
A teapot (free from mom)
A lamp (also free from mom)
A butter dish ($12)
Fate: broken and sacrificed. Sigh.
Total money I've wasted on junk I never should've bought: $1955.00
Ha, I wonder if we all have a Tale of the Teapot!
ReplyDeletemakes me also wonder how many of us have moms who bought us grown up things when we were kids, just because we'd be grown up one day! lol
DeleteWow, I don't want to laugh at your expense about all the broken items, but...funny post.
ReplyDeleteoh, please do! glad you enjoyed the post :o)
DeleteI had an extra large pet taxi that someone gave me. The two halves were unscrewed so the top could nest in the bottom for storage. I was getting rid of said pet taxi because it was too big for any one cat and all of them together were too heavy to lift and there really isn't the occasion to transport them all at once. I pull out the taxi and the plastic box I put the nuts and bolts in, hand those to hubby and lug the carrier to the car, hubby tagging along behind. I get to the donation place and I have the carrier but no nuts & bolts. It turns out that hubby set them down because he didn't know why I handed them to him. I donated the carrier sans nuts and bolts and gave him what for. No logic that boy... no voice either apparently. Not quite the same as a broken tea pot.
ReplyDeleteI chuckled at the moms buying us adult things when we are young. In my black spandex, metal studs, dyed spiked hair phase my mom bought me a very delicate gold bracelet saying every young lady should have one. I still haven't grown into that phase of life.
Great post with the suitable title "Sacrifices to the gods of our tile floors"
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