Friday, September 28, 2012

Bridezilla attacks!!

Everybody here wants to do the right thing. We want to repurpose instead of recycling. We'd rather recycle something than trash it. We want to be green.

But right now the only green part of me is the part of me that's green with envy. Envy of people with empty closets. Because I am so sick of looking at these things!

Look closely...can you see them? The huge boxes on the left?
 When my husband and I were planning our wedding, we were unfortunately very easily manipulated by family members who had their own agendas. We let other people make decisions about the party (and at first, about the ceremony too) because we thought we were being good children/granchildren. Minor detail: the husband and I paid for the wedding out of our own pockets. And to give you an idea of the amount we spent, we could've bought a car with what we spent. A very, very nice car. 

Screw that. All I did was make myself miserable by letting other people decide how to spend my money and tell me what religion my non-existent children should follow. By the time the big day rolled around the hubs and I had grown something resembling spines. We were able to tell people how we wanted our ceremony to go. I really envy the women who become bridezillas, because as least they have the strength of character not to get walked all over at their wedding.

But two years later I'm still letting other people's ideals dictate my happiness. Case in point, two things from the wedding that I still have because I haven't been able to do the "right" things with them.

The vases we used as part of the centerpieces at our wedding reception. I've been trying to tell myself to be green and take them to the thrift shop so that they could be reused. But after keeping them in my closet for months I am sick and tired of seeing them. They went in the recycling bin this morning.

The next thing was a bag of plastic pink heart confetti that Grandmom tried to convince me to put on the tables at the wedding. I hate plastic. I hate confetti. I hate pink. And yet I kept it because I'm not supposed to waste them, right? They went in the trash can.

I feel so wasteful. But I feel like the true waste here is the amount of mental energy I've put into trying to do the "right" thing with these objects (whatever that is) instead of going out and grabbing what I really want -- the space in my closet.

The right thing to do with these objects is to get them out of my home so that I can be happy. Now.


Oh yeah, I got rid of this mirror too. It was another gift from Grandmom (Miss "I can't bear to see it go to waste!") It's been sitting in my closet for over a year now and I have no use for it. I don't want to waste the gas to drive all the way out to the used home goods donation place when I have nothing else to take out there. It goes in the recycling too.

Have you ever tossed something that you knew could be recycled just because you needed it out of the house? What were your thoughts about doing that?



The Reckoning
Well, the mirror didn't cost money. The stuff for the wedding...well, I paid for that. But at least some of it got used. Add three more things to the tally of items chucked.

22 comments:

  1. Can you actually recycle those items in your area? They would be rejected here. The mirror for sure.

    I usually clear out a lot of stuff by using the Canadian Diabetes Association Clothesline. They call ever 6-8 weeks to let me know they're coming around my neighbourhood, and ask if I have anything to donate. I always do. I love that I can put the stuff on my front steps and when I come home from work it's all taken away.

    I also like this route because the Clothesline has proven to help the Diabetes association, whereas using random charity drop-off boxes can be a gamble. Both my parents had/have Type 2 Diabetes, so battling hoarding and diabetes at the same time seems like a win-win situation for me!

    Back to your original question...yeah, sometimes I have thrown out things just to get them out. Especially when I'm on a roll. When I had a few days to work on our basement this past summer, I filled 12 boxes for charity and still had stuff. Some of it went in the garbage...mostly because I couldn't imagine anyone wanting it, or it was an incomplete set of something.

    I had my own stuff from the wedding to deal with. It was all stuff I liked, and that made it even harder to get rid of it.

    Regardless, keep it up, Joanna. You're doing yourself a favour by clearing out this space. I bet it feels good, doesn't it?

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    1. our county has one of the best recycling programs in the nation, so everything was able to go out. Though they may have had to trash one of the vases. I couldn't get the wax candle unstuck from the bottom!

      12 boxes...that's amazing! It's feeling good right now. Maybe I'll get to 12 boxes when I move out of my folks' place next month. It's feeling good so far though!

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  2. I think you've jumped inside my head! I am known to hold onto things just because I fear them sitting in the landfill for all of eternity. Usually when I know something should be tossed, I make The Hubs do it because I don't have the balls. I've slowly been getting better, but I still have a hard time going against my green heart.

    As for weddings, what is it with everyone else thinking they should dictate the whole damn thing?! My parents had to talk us into spending more of THEIR money! Crazy, right?! The day ended up not as I would have liked it, but hey, it's done. Now I get to plan for a vow renewal or anniversary party to have like we *really* wanted.

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    1. LOL now I completely understand why people do vow renewals!

      Saw your wedding pics ages ago. You looked gorgeous and so happy!

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  3. I try not to chuck stuff that can be reused, but sometimes, as you say, it takes SO much mental energy, it's better just to bin straight away

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  4. Yup, I've definitely chucked things that could have been recycled or donated. Sometimes you just really want it out right then, and sometimes I have to remind myself I can't do everything all the time.

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  5. Sometimes it's worth it just to get it gone - especially if you use the energy you gain to not allow other stuff into your life in the first place.

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  6. I've done that many times. I have definitely been in that place before, not with a wedding, but with "gifts" that you don't really want to accept in the first place, but that are "really valuable" or will be someday.... yeah. Talk about needing a spine. It took me years to get mine!

    Love your blog, I'm attempting to start one, for a million different reasons, I hope you'll stop by!

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    1. thanks for reading! gifts I think are an issue we all hate! I stopped by your blog and I'm enjoying it a lot!

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  7. I JUST went through some leftover wedding gifts we had (we were married 8 years ago). I came across things I had never seen before: a pastry mat, a covered dish we've never used, some kind of crystal angel thing- lots of stuff we haven't used for 8 years.

    As for being wasteful, my approach is to understand why I'm throwing away the object. Sometimes it's just pure frustration, because I'm clearing stuff out and I just don't care anymore. Other times I just don't know what to do with the object(s). Either way, we have to learn from the experience, and not take/buy/accept stuff we know we don't want to keep.

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    1. Sounds like wonderful self-forgiveness to me. And a greater determination not to let stuff from my folks' place make it home if I know I don't want it in the first place.

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  8. Good for you! I'm running up against that very same feeling myself.

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  9. I needed to read this just now. I have a Tripp Trapp convert-into-baby-chair set. It's been used for all four of my babes and the Tripp Trapp has now been returned to "chair" mode.
    I've tried to freecycle the set - no takers. The new version sells for £42 but I don't know if anyone would buy the old version.

    But I can't bring myself to bin it.

    To target a group of "mummies", I'll need to join mumsnet or babycentre or something, which seems extreme just to get rid of a piece of bent wood...

    I might just bite the bullet and recycle it - it is just wood after all...
    Karen (Scotland)

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    Replies
    1. Hi Karen, thanks for stopping by! I just joined freecycle myself. But like you said, it seems like so much work to get rid of things! Hopefully all of the work getting rid of this stuff will be incentive for us to buy less.

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  10. I've lived in apartment complexes all my adult life so when I have one thing I want to get rid of NOW I put it in the laundry room or by the mailboxes with a "free" sign on it. I did however throw out three pair of shoes recently that made me feel guilty. There used to be a charity that collected shoes for the homeless but they aren't around anymore that I know of. Any other charity would probably just toss them. They were well worn on the insides, like the support, but they would way trump having NO SHOES any day.

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    1. Aren't those "free boxes" great? Loved them in college and miss them now. I got rid of so much stuff! I'm going to try freecycle though.

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  11. Yes, I've thrown away something that could have been recycled, taken to the thrift shop, etc.

    It occurred to me one day that eventually EVERYTHING is going to be worn out and will end up in the landfill anyway, so is it really the end of the world if the item ends up there now, or after a few more possible uses by somebody else? It's still going to end up in the landfill when all is said and done.

    I don't do it often because I don't like to be wasteful, but I don't allow guilt to eat at me if I do end up throwing something away like that.

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  12. I did. I had bags of stuff that I wanted to get rid of, but at the time it was such a pain to donate ANYTHING where I live. The smaller items....no clue where to take them & they couldn't be recycled. I finally went into our garage, grabbed a couple big black bags and transferred the items I knew couldn't be recycled into them, and dropped them at the curb for pick-up. Hubby was pleased, but shocked. lol I have less to go through and I know what I can do with most of that now, so not as much "black bag drop-off" anymore.

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