The good news...
The Chief Engineer came back.I won't go into personal details but the couples I know who separated and came back together are quite a bit stronger than they were before. Yes, it was very painful. But I knuckled up, took better care of myself than I have in ages during my nearly three months alone, and I think we came out better for it.
One improvement is that we will now and forevermore live with separate finances. Part of our problem came from the fact that I spend money like water and he holds on to it. That of course builds resentment. Having two incomes gave me a false sense of financial security. Now I live under my own income. I also bought a car. First car! I need a car now as he and I were co-dependent before and never did anything apart (no wonder we needed to separate!) We now both have activities at the same time in different cities.
After groceries and my car loan and my contribution to our mortgage I have $400/week left to spend on what's got to get bought. That should be plenty, I think. I hope. I'm not good with money so we'll have to see how it goes.
Now here's the bad news...
When we separated it was very quick and very dirty. He took one credit card and I took the other and the debt that came with it. Fortunately I managed to snag 0% interest on a new spare credit card. I got the spare card because when I went to rent a car back in May I found out that I didn't have the right brand of card (visa/mc/amex) and couldn't do the rental. I also feel that since the stripes on my cards die occasionally, it would be good to have a spare. Here's the debt.Debts: $3220
$3000 at 0% for 16 months on credit card
$220 at 0% until September 2015 on PayPal credit
I've added bars on the right to track my progress. I've spent the summer contributing to an emergency fund for myself but not chipping away at the debt. That is in my name and is my responsibility. Let's see how I do. Hopefully money will no longer divide us.
In the meantime, check out my "Organizing $$$" tab to follow my progress!
I think writing down those financial goals will help keep you accountable. They seem reasonable and I look forward to seeing your progress.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I'm feeling good about this chance to start over.
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ReplyDeleteIt sounds like having separate finances is a good idea- I know couples who fight over money because one likes to spend and the other likes to save...it's hard when you are at opposite ends of the spend/save spectrum!
ReplyDeleteI love that your financial plan has room for treats like new skis :)
Zoe, I am pleased to hear your 'good news' and wish you both well. It will not be easy but I applaud you and the Chief Engineer.
ReplyDeleteMaking the decision to live with separate finances is a personal one and is clearly what you both believe will work best for you.
As always I will continue to follow your journey and cheer you on from afar.
Take care. xxxx
Yay, so happy to hear your news! I've always been a separate finances kind of girl, so I hope this works well for you.
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely finding that a lot of women feel this way! We should've done it a long time ago.
DeleteGood luck with it! We've definitely found having separate finances helps us (in our case because I have a tendency to freak out every time my spouse spends money).
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